Once upon a time there were four musicians called Mike,
Phil, Pete and Lee. Mike and Phil were young and handsome
and good on their instruments. Pete and Lee were also
good on their instruments.
They were all in a band called the Blue Rhythm
Methodists when it started a long, long time ago. One day Lee and
Phil asked Pete and Mike why the band had
such a silly name and Mike pointed to Pete and said ‘He thought
it up.’ And Pete said if they could think of a better
name then they were welcome to. After a while they decided
it wasn’t such a bad name after all.
Later that day, someone said it would be good fun to go
into the studio and make an album-just-like-proper-groups-on-the-telly-do.
Everyone thought it was a great idea and they would have
to find a Fairy Godmother to help them make an album-just-like-proper-groups-on-the-telly-do.
They all looked very hard for a Fairy Godmother
for a long time until one day a friend of
theirs called Patrick ‘phoned
up. Patrick wasn’t a Godmother as he had a wife
and children, but they thought they would
asked him if he could help them make a you-know-what anyway. This was
quite a good idea because Patrick owned a studio called
the Greenhouse, which was funny because it
have many windows.
Patrick said they could go into the Greenhouse
for an afternoon, but he didn’t think they’d come
out with a you-know-what. Lee said that if
the Beetles could do it, then the Blue Rhythm Methodists could. Everyone
thought it made jolly good sense, although later on they
couldn’t remember why.
After they made their sandwiches, Lee Pete,
Mike and Phil went to the Greenhouse and met Uncle Paul. Uncle Paul
had long hair and a beard. They all thought
he looked like a dangerous anarchist, but they soon found he was
quite nice really. ‘Are you the Engineer?’
they asked him.
‘Oh no, I’m the studio manager, but I like to keep my hand in
now and again’ he said and everyone laughed because they thought it
was a good joke.
about the meths
Uncle Paul thought it was
such a good joke indeed that he kept the band in stitches
all afternoon. Every time
they looked through the window Uncle Paul would be putting up shelves,
rewiring the control room, making phone calls, copying tapes and
sometimes he wouldn’t even be
there at all! After a while he’d run back into the
control room and the band would ask him if they’d
played the tune well and he would say ‘Next!’
That was a funny thing to say, but Paul said ‘if
you’re going to record a you-know-what in an afternoon,
you’ve got to be on the case.’ After that,
Mike and Pete (who were both
very tall) banged their heads and Paul said it was just a turn
of phase, which confused
everyone except Mike who knew about electrics.
In the end, the Blue Rhythm
Methodists were very happy because they recorded fourteen
tracks for their you-know-what.
It turned out though, that their you-know-what wasn’t
an album-just-like-proper-groups-on-the-telly-do. Apparently,
real you-know-whats aren’t done in an afternoon.
They take two afternoons, or even longer! And if you make
a mistake you can rub it out an do it again, or get someone
else to do it for you. If you can’t find anyone
else to do it for you, you
can even get a machine to do it!
But the Blue Rhythm Methodists
weren’t upset because
they thought that if you did that, it wouldn’t really
be a real you-know-what. In fact, it wouldn’t be
real at all.
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